As is widely known, I am rarely incorrect, but you might recall me stating in a previous predictions article that I believed I held the record for the fastest senior goal at Goodison Park with my 12.94-second effort for Blackburn in 1995. This stood until Abdoulaye Doucoure scored for Everton against Leicester in 10.18 seconds this February.
It has since come to light that the fastest goal before Doucoure’s was actually by Colin Clarke of Bournemouth, timed at 11 seconds in a 1985 League Cup tie. Nevertheless, I still hold the record for the fastest away goal at Goodison in a men’s league game, and that distinction will remain mine, as I don’t foresee Southampton scoring at all on Sunday.
Southampton will likely be too fatigued from their celebrations after last week’s draw with Manchester City to disrupt the occasion, as Everton’s men’s team play their final game at Goodison Park after a 133-year tenure.
I have no issue with the Southampton fans celebrating reaching 12 points and thereby avoiding the infamy of equalling Derby’s record for the lowest Premier League points tally; they have certainly endured a challenging season. However, for their players to react in such a manner afterwards strikes me as decidedly unprofessional.
Some may attribute it to raw emotion, but one must question the standards if such an outcome is deemed a significant achievement. The team should have expressed gratitude to the supporters and then promptly retired to the dressing room.
In their last outing, Everton were comprehensively outplayed by Fulham in the first half, but they demonstrated marked improvement in the second period to secure a 3-1 victory at Craven Cottage.
While it would be typical for them to underperform on such a momentous day, I believe they will rise to the occasion. I anticipate Beto finding the net, and the Toffees concluding their Goodison era with a win.
Sutton’s prediction: 2-0
Barry Can’t Swim’s prediction: A significant final send-off at Goodison Park, with Moyes in the dugout; the atmosphere will be electric, and the players will be thoroughly motivated. I hope they give the ground the farewell it deserves. 5-0
Barry Can’t Swim on Everton’s best player this season: It’s difficult to pinpoint one, but I would probably opt for Jordan Pickford. He demonstrates remarkable consistency and reliability, which in turn instils confidence in the back-line.
Furthermore, while he may not be my choice for player of the season, I believe Beto warrants considerable credit for the impact he has made since Moyes’s arrival. He was largely written off but has contributed a fair number of goals.
Who would he sign in the summer? I genuinely think wing-backs are a priority, as well as a right winger. And, yes, a forward too.
We now possess a bit more creativity in midfield, but I would like to see more offensively-minded full-backs, similar to those we had under Moyes in the past. It is shaping up to be a very exciting summer for us.
Okay, here’s an editorial-style paragraph for the end:
It’s fascinating to see the contrast in perspectives here. While “Barry Can’t Swim” leans into the pure, unadulterated fan hope for a glorious Goodison farewell, Chris Sutton’s analysis, particularly his cutting “amateur hour” critique of Southampton’s celebrations, grounds the piece in a more hard-nosed professional reality. This juxtaposition perfectly encapsulates the often-conflicting emotions surrounding such significant sporting moments: the deep desire for a storybook ending versus the unpredictable, sometimes harsh, realities of competitive sport.